Shoes
by ItsMrFabulous
Summary: Inspired by the Liam Sullivan video under th same name. Max finds a shoe store, and all hell breaks loose. T for language, silliness, among other things. Update: Complete. Soon to be followed by Lemme Borrow That Top.
1. She Gets what She Wants

Shoes. Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

Max was window-shopping one day, not really wanting to get anything despite her wallet being full. "Just what we need", Max had told them. She approached one window

Then she saw them.

And what they needed went out the door.

Her eyes went wide.

"Shoes."

A woman inside the store was checking stock. She looked up, saw Max staring, and jumped in fright. Max didn't notice this, for she was carefully eyeing each pair of shows from to the next. "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" She didn't really say to anyone, and ran off, opening her cell phone.

Now, this cell didn't exactly have a plan, so they were only supposed to contact each other in an emergency. But, according to Max, this WAS a fucking emergency.

Nudge picked up.

"What is it, Max! Are there Erasers nearby!"

"Worse! WE NEED SHOES!"

"…What?"

"Nudge, do you remember the birthday party we had for Ari and me?"

"Max…I wasn't born then."

"Oh." A silence. "Ok, I'll tell you what happened.

_It was that day, five years ago. Jeb and one of the women scientists name Cindy were watching Max and Ari celeberate their twelth birthda, chessy little party hats stuck to their heads. "Happy birthday, twins."_

_ Being the immature kid he was, Ari tore open his present. "A COMPUTER! AND A CAR! Thanks, Da-"_

_"JEB."_

_Ari kept a hurt smile on. "...right. Jeb. Thanks."_

_"Max?" Jeb said, eager to see Max's reaction to her present. "Go ahead, open you present."  
_

_Max carefully opened her present being carful not rip the blue and green festive paper. "Please let this be a pile of awesome shoes-"_

_ She really was the unfortunate one, wasn't she?_

_A big, purple dinosaur somehow not relating to Barney(TM) stood before her, a big, goofy, retarded smile across his face. Max turned to the two adults. "What the hell?!"_

_"What did you expect?" Cindy asked Max matter-of-factly. "Condamns?"_

_ "Nice PRESENT, Max." Ari chimed in, smirking._

_Max, having an speech impendement(sp. XD), got furious and yelled, "SHUT UP, DECK!"_

_"Skank!'_

_"I'm gonna BETCHSLAP YOU, SHETBAG!"_

_"Stop fighting. You two are twins." Cindy said. "Godness sakes. Don't they haqve the same thoughts or something?" She asked Jeb.  
_

_ **"Shoes."** Max thought.  
_

_ **"Playstation."** Ari thought._

_**"Fiscal responsibility."** Jeb thought._

_**"Tom Skarret."** Cindy thought.  
_

_ Max rolled her eyes, getting up to leave. "Max? Where are you going?!" Jeb asked._

_Max slowly turned to the two adults. "...Out."_

_"Whore." Cindy muttered._

_"Max," Jeb asked, an edge of fure in his tone, '"What are you gonna do with your life?!"_

_Max replied with the single skankiest response. "I'M GONNA GET WHAT I WANT." And with that she walked out._

_Jeb just sat there, twitching."Christ."_

"...And that's why I need shoes NOOOOOOOW!!" Max yelled into the phone.

Nudge sighed into the phone. "Whatever. You're the leader. Meet me at the Starbucks on the block you're on."

"Bring Fang and Iggy." Max said, before flipping the phone down.

Nudge sighed, flipping her end down. "I know something bad's gonna happen."

* * *

Ta daaa! chapter one done. chapter two sooon and such. 


	2. Poor Iggy

Shoes.

Don't own, don't sue.

Chapter 2: Poor Iggy

Max burst open the door to the shoe store, Nudge, Iggy, and Fang trudging behind. They were taken away from safe and comfort of the hideout,...to go buy shoes. and to leave Gazzy and Angel by themselves. Oh well, priorities first, right?

Max walked over to a row of shoes.

"These shoes rule." She said, dropping a pair into Iggy's hands, who nearly fellinto a display rack from the surprise.

She eyed another pair. "These shoes suck." She said, throwing them behind her and hitting Iggy in in the head. He fell over.

"These shoes RULE." Max cooed over a third pair, dropping them for poor Iggy to collect. He tried to pick them up, but Max ran into him, senidng him toppling over.

"These shoes SUCK." she yelled, throwing another pair in random directions. Fortunately, Iggy was prepared , and hid in the dressing room until Fang had to go draw him out when they were ready to leave.

But, Max closed the door on him on the way out. "WATCH IT, YOU DUMB BLIND LITTLE SKANK!" she yelled behind her.

Poor Iggy.

They walked in another store. "Oh, my God. Shoes."

Max took off.

* * *

...And watch me effortlessly half ass a story! nxt xhapter up soon. 


	3. Stupid Boythree hundred FUCKING dollars

Shoes.

Chapter Three.

Don't own, don't sue.

Max was going through the routine check of the shoes, Fang, Iggy, and Nudge trudging behind yet again

with three bags per person. They looked to each other, nodded, and stepped forward. "Um, Max..." Nudge said.

"What the hell!" Max looked up, annoyed by the interruption.

"We all agree and I think it's safe to say that...well."

Fang helped her. "I think you have too many shoes-"

"SHUT UP." Max returned to choosing shoes.

The clerk to the store came ou. "I think you have too many shoes-"

"SHUT UP." Max yelled, becoming agitated.

The store manager came out. "I think you have too many shoes-"

"SHUT UP!" Max kicked the manager, putting her foot on the poor guy's neck.

"Stupid boy." She said softly. She then turned to pick out more shoes.

"I'm just glad that wasn't me." Iggy sighed.

"Yeah, you've been through enough." Nudge and Fang patted him on the back.

Iggy sniffled.

Fang, Iggy, and Nudge, stood there, watching Max kill more people to get more shoes. Would anyhting work?

* * *

There was, however, one pair that made her stop.

"These shoes are three hundred dollars."

Her mouth hung open, shocked by the awesomeosity og the shoes.

"These shoes are three hundred dollars."

Flies flew into her mouth.

"These shoes are three hundred FUCKING dollars."

She looked up. "LET'S GET 'EM!"


	4. Oh, By The Way Betch

Shoes.

Don't own, don't sue.

And now, the conclusion.

"BETCH, I'M BUYING THESE FUCKING SHOES." Max demanded, slamming her palm into the counter of the store.

One of the employees came over. "Um, these shoes run a small size, I don't think they're gonna fit. I mean, your feet are pretty…big."

Oh, no she didn't.

OH, NO SHE DIDN'T.

Max's eye twitched.

"Oh."

Fang covered Nudge's eyes, Iggy covered her ears.

They knew what was coming.

"Oh, by the way betch-FUCK YOU!"

She leapt at the employee, while another grabbed the shoes she had flung-at Iggy. Fang picked up him and pulled Nudge out of there.

Seeing the shoes being taken away, Max gowled, and pounced upon the other. "THOSE SHOES ARE MINE BETCH! GIMME THOSE FUCKING SHOES, BETCH!"

The word "Betch" was repeated for about five minutes. The police were involved, and she was eventually taken down with a tranq dart.

And, that, my friends, is the story of how Max went insane for shoes.

* * *

I'm never looking at shoes the same way again. Thanks to the song "Shoes" for the inspiration. Coming soon: LEMME BORROW THAT TOP!!! 


End file.
